Being Old Isn't What It Used to Be. It's A Whole Lot Better!
If you were born between January 1, 1946 and December 31, 1964, you are a part of the generation known as the Baby Boomers. This extra-large cohort of individuals has overwhelmed and ended up redefining American culture at every stage of their life journey.
In their early years, Boomers overstrained and forced a rethinking of America's institutions of education and higher learning. In their 20's through 60's, Boomers made our country reconsider what working life should or could be. Now, as they reach retirement, Boomers are forcing a rethinking of what it means to be in one's "senior years" as well.
This web page contains two series of poems. The first series contains poems for seniors who still love each other. The second series contains poems for seniors who still love life. I write as a way of capturing the things that I think are important about life. Check back on this page frequently and you will be rewarded with new material on a regular basis.
My wife Diane and I are blessed. We’ve been in love and married nearly 50 years and we live in The Villages Florida, one of the most interesting and exciting places on the planet to spend your senior years. Our lives are an adventure. Thanks for riding along with us on our journey!
SERIES 1 - POEMS FOR SENIORS WHO STILL LOVE EACH OTHER
In the summer of 2021, my wife, Diane, and I took a three-month, 10,000- mile Recreational Vehicle (RV) trip around the United States. You can read about it on the tabs of this website that are labeled USA-21. Only a few months earlier, our longest RV trip ever was the three-mile supervised test drive we took when we decided to buy our coach.
Our trip was the experience of a lifetime. We saw the river deltas of the South, the vast deserts, mountains, and geological wonders of the American West, the endless grasslands of the Mid-West, and the beauty of New England and the Atlantic Coast. We even got to see what it’s like to drive through the Bronx in New York City at rush hour with an RV and tow car. (Hint: If you can handle crossing the Rocky Mountains, you can handle crossing New York City.)
Spending day and night together for three months experiencing all these adventures and overcoming the countless logistical challenges a trip of this magnitude tests your relationship way beyond the boundaries of normal day to day life. You are constantly in motion, constantly outside your home territory, and because you are taking on an RV trip of this size for the first time, almost always working outside of your comfort zone.
If something is prone to breaking on your RV, the stresses of this kind of trip are sure to make it happen. The same is true of your relationship. Our trip made us appreciate each other and the relationship that we have built up even more. In June of 2022, we will be celebrating our 50th anniversary.
When we got back from our trip, I decided that I wanted to capture not only the excitement of our travel experience, but also what I had learned about us as a couple. It led to my writing the poem that opens this series of poems on love: Still the One. After that, the floodgates opened.
If you are a writer, you know that you don’t call up the ideas, the ideas come to you on their own timetable. When they do, your job is to do the best you can to capture them as they frantically flow from your head, through your fingers, and onto the page. Within a very short time, my one poem had turned into a collection. I have decided to make it a living document and I constantly add new love poems as the words come to me.
Diane and I are in our seventies. Most of our friends are seventy or even older. What does it mean to love someone in your senior years? Is it a lukewarm, more like roommates, too much trouble to change so might as well stay together situation? Or, can your long years of being together make you even more passionate about and devoted to each other?
This trip reinforced for us that we still love each other in a way that the general culture says is only for the young. Further, we think we’re not the only ones. We live in The Villages, Florida, one of the largest senior communities in the country. There are over 136,000 people in our community. The vast majority are over 55. In fact, in our section of The Villages, Sumter County, the average age is over 67.
Go to any of our town centers on any evening and you will see countless senior couples holding hands, dancing, laughing, and just radiating the kind of affection for each other that people of every age long for and are grateful for if they are able to find it. So, the poems in this section celebrate our 50 years as a married couple and the love that has made still our life together an adventure to this day.
Whatever your age is, I hope you enjoy these poems. Most importantly, especially if you, like us, are in your senior years, I hope you are able to use these poems to tell the person you love how special they are to you and remind yourself just how lucky you are to have them in your life.
Around age sixty-eight, I started reflecting on the fact that I was on the precipice of turning seventy years old - a major life milestone. Turning fifty-five was no big deal to me. Sixty and sixty-five were nothing. But, I realized that with all of the other changes that were occurring in my life at that time, turning seventy was going to be a make or break, watershed moment - one that could determine the quality of my life for the rest of my life.
By age sixty-eight, the decades of all-consuming professional challenges that had so defined who I was and what I could spend time on had just ended two years earlier when I had retired. Diane and I had also just recently relocated from Northern Virginia outside Washington, DC where we had spent most of our adult lives to The Villages in Florida. We moved to The Villages knowing no one and never even having seen the place until our fateful first three-day visit during which we bought a home decided to move to The Villages full time.
Finally, at age sixty-eight I got a stern wake-up call warning from my doctor. He said that the occupational hazards of my prior career, extremely long work hours, very high stress, and no time to exercise or eat a healthy diet, had severely compromised my health. Without radical and immediate lifestyle changes, my doctor said age sixty-eight me was facing a series of physical risks and limitations that would hobble me in my seventies and beyond.
As seventy came closer and closer, I began putting down my thoughts about my past and my hopes for the future. I found that expressing my thoughts in poem form forced me to focus and distill my ideas. Years later, I still find satisfaction in writing and reading poems.
Hopefully, one day after I'm gone and my grandkids are trying to remember who my wife, Diane, and I were and what we were about, the writings I've left behind will give them a picture of what life was like for us. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy these poems. I hope they give voice to your own thoughts and feelings about life and maybe even open up for you some new life insights and experiences as well.
Diane and I are grateful for our fifty years of sharing life together and the wonderful active senior lifestyle we have living in The Villages, Florida - our final hometown. Our life is an adventure. Through these poems, you get to experience it too. Thanks for riding on our journey with us!
Dog Life
Rounding The Bend
Wheelchair Stare
How Much is Enough?
The New Old
Fredericksburg 911
Today’s News
Our Wonderful Girl
You Are What You Do
Grit Reps
Weightlifting and Poetry
Recovery - Commitment to The Journey
Recovery - Week One
Recovery - Week Two
Recovery - Week Three
Recovery - Week Four
Recovery - Week Five
Recovery - Week Six
Recovery - Week Seven
Recovery - Week Eight - Hard Things
Recovery - Week Nine
Recovery - Week Ten
Recovery - Week Eleven
Recovery - Week Twelve
Recovery - Week Thirteen
Recovery - Week Fourteen
Recovery - Aftermath
Heavy Bag Workout
Fighting The Next Round
The Only Way Out Is Through
You Are What You Do
Easter 2021
Our RV Trip of A Lifetime
Out of Control
**************************************
Dog Life
“Hey!” Don’t tug on my leash
“I’m not done sniffing here yet.”
I tell ya, some days life
Is one big trip to the Vet.
I know you’re busy.
Have things to do.
But this is my only chance to
Check on friends.
Take a poo.
We dogs live through our nose.
Follow every vapor.
For us sniffing a pole is like
Reading the newspaper.
Oh look.
Lacy that sexy Lapadoodle’s been here.
Her scent has hints of floral.
It’s recent and clear.
I think I’ll leave her
A message from me.
“I think you’re cute.”
I spray out lovingly.
On to the next bush,
Got to leave my mark.
And when other dogs come by
I’ve got to sniff and/or bark.
I enjoy our walks
This chance to get out, roam.
But, I miss my snacks and sofa.
There’s no place like home!
Rounding the Bend
7:30 AM,
Time for our walk
A chance to exercise,
Laugh, talk.
Me and my
Good friend Dan,
Two laps round Monarch Grove
Is our plan.
Our pace is slow,
But we walk three miles.
We stop and pet dogs.
Give neighbors waves and smiles.
Our time is a function of
Heat and sun light.
Summers are hot, slow.
Falls are cool, brisk, just right.
Old men solving
The problems of the world.
We talk about, life,
Politics, pretty girls.
When you reach our age,
You realize there is an end.
A day when your life’s walk is over,
When you’ll finally round the bend.
Until then each walk brings us
Something of true worth,
Healthy, happy, time with friends
Until we walk right off this earth.
Wheelchair Stare
You look at me,
But, what do you see?
An invalid in a wheel chair?
Or the me I used to be?
Doctors say,
My situation is temporary.
My prognosis they opine,
Is truly exemplary.
A freak accident put me,
In this chair.
I won’t be spending,
My whole life there.
But, that’s not what,
I see in your eyes.
You look at me with a pity,
That surprisingly, I despise.
This temporary
Disability,
Has reframed people’s,
Understanding of me.
No one sees me,
Only my chair.
My personality, wit, strengths,
None of it is there.
They see me as diminished,
Someone who’s broken
Impaired, inhibited.
Full of sadness unspoken.
I see now what it’s like
When your life is in a chair.
You hate your dependence on others.
Try not to see strangers’ stares.
They don’t know it
But, they are wrong.
In 90 days, I’ll heal.
Walk again. Be strong.
But, I’ll never forget
My time in this chair.
It opened my eyes.
Made me more aware.
We need to look past
External disabilities.
To the inner person,
Their true capabilities.
I hate the struggle of
My time in this chair.
But, I’m stronger and wiser
For having been there.
How Much Is Enough?
In my latter years,
I’ve started looking back.
One big mystery is,
How do you keep track?
There are people out there
Who consider themselves blessed,
When they can’t get their arms,
Around the expanse of their mess.
I’ve had seven Harley’s,
And six cats.
I’ve got a dresser full of T-shirts
And baseball hats.
Would my life have more meaning,
If I owned a warehouse store?
Would I be a better person,
If I simply owned more?
If you measure your life
By your pile of stuff,
You’ll forever be behind.
You can’t hoard enough.
No amount of stuff is worth dying
Miserable, alone.
At the end it’s who loves you,
Not what you own.
When I think about
What’s important in my life,
It’s daughter, grandkids, friends,
My wonderful wife.
So, what they say must be true.
It is for me.
The best things in my life,
Actually are free.
The New Old
The old old
Live in their past.
Their best years are behind them.
Today’s too complex, too fast.
The old old day-dream
Instead of pursue.
Hope something, someday
Will make their wishes come true.
The old old proceed
Cautiously, with reserve.
They live off past glories.
Stretch things out, preserve.
The old old see the future
As a place of fears.
Full of diminishment, decline
Degradation, tears.
The old old live life
Dimly lit, damp, cold.
Musty, rusty,
Timid, not bold.
The new old know wrinkles
Are just mile markers of time.
It’s their spirit that decides
What decade is their prime.
The new old make their life
An unending quest
To transcend their limits
Surpass their past best.
The new old’s future
Is a place of new heights.
Climbs up new mountains.
Wins in new fights.
Age tracks not defines
Who the new old are
They choose their goals
Age doesn’t set their bar.
So, which is your path?
Which old are you?
Is your life up ahead?
Or behind, nearly through?
Instead of life old old
Backward looking, bland
Let your future be defined by you
Not the hour glass’s sand.
Fredericksburg 911
In movies, the Police arrive
And bravely save the day.
Forget it. The new normal
Is Fredericksburg, Va.
A mom and 5-year old daughter
Stop for a light.
An angry mob engulfs them.
In the darkness of the night.
The mob screams and threatens.
Climbs up on her car,
Scares her little girl.
They go way too far.
She is scared, alone
Under attack.
She calls 911
But, they don't have her back.
“No one will come Ma’am.", they say.
"You’re on your own like all the rest.
City Hall considers this
A 'mostly peaceful’ protest.”
On TV the lying Press
Covers up the whole damn thing.
Says these are peaceful folk
Who only march and sing.
They call thieves and thugs heroes,
No matter what they do.
Even as they loot and burn your business,
Harass and assault you.
Welcome to the new
Blue City reality.
You better be brave citizen,
Because you are no longer free.
You say: “This can’t be America!”
But sadly it’s true.
The Press and Blue City Mayors
Support the thugs and thieves - not you.
Today’s News
Come one, come all.
You’ve got to see this place!
Their heads have no brains.
Only empty space!
Yes, it’s exotic.
But, it’s easy to see.
All you do to get there
Is turn on your TV.
Stop thinking so much.
Get a good mental snooze.
Simply tune to the
So called TV “news.”
News shows once
Presented facts.
Now they only present
Political operatives, hacks.
You’re highly unlikely
To learn anything new.
They mindlessly mouth
A single point of view.
Oh, they’re good.
They look right at you.
And say things they know
Are patently untrue.
The Politicians interviewed
Are the best.
Believe nothing they say.
Then, forget the rest.
With the upcoming
Election Presidential.
Their propaganda increase
Is exponential.
How did we sink to
This sorry state?
Where show after show
Is all anger and hate?
It’s because folks tune in
Not to find out what’s new,
But to have hacks reinforce
What they already hold true.
“So what?” you say.
“What’s the big fuss?”
It’s that this hyper divisiveness
Is killing us.
Trumpeting only what divides us,
Minimizing what makes us one,
Spits us into warring tribes
Will destroy our Union.
None of this helps our nation.
They know it’s not what we need.
They do it simply to pump up their ratings.
Gain power, feed their greed.
We need new TV leaders
To bring us back from the brink.
Folks that will tell us what happened.
Instead of what to think.
We need to remember our nation's strength
Comes when we act as one.
God send us leaders who will unite us
Smite those who want our Union undone.
Our Wonderful Girl
Our beloved Bella cat
Died today.
Tomorrow we will
Lay her away.
For 16 years
She was a part of our world.
We loved her dearly
This wonderful girl.
Who will sleep
With us tonight?
Who’ll wake us for her food
At dawn’s first light?
Who’ll patrol for lizards
In our lanai?
Who’ll chase her laser light
And make us laugh till we cry?
Who’ll cuddle with us
When we watch TV?
Who’ll purr just sitting next
To Diane and me?
We loved this cat
She was a part of our life.
Together we three faced
All life’s good times, strife.
Diane and I are old now.
The truth is that.
Bella will likely be
Our last cat.
Like Bella we are closer
To the day
When our end will arrive.
When they’ll lay us away.
When our time comes
We both hope that
We’ll be as missed and loved
As our wonderful Bella cat.
You Are What You Do
What are you capable of?
How far can you go?
If you’re not testing yourself,
How do you know?
Make your life
An unending quest
To keep elevating
Your personal best.
Becoming that you
You want to be,
Takes perpetual effort
Nothing is free.
Setting the goal
Isn’t the hard part.
Success only comes
With effort, sweat, heart
When your mind says: ”No.”
Switch it to: ”Go”
When you’d rather stay in,
Force yourself to begin.
If you want to become,
The best version of you.
Forget hopes and wishes,
You are what you do.
Grit Reps
It’s been a hard squat workout
You’ve given it your best.
It’s time to end this torture.
Hit the showers. Get some rest.
Coach says: “One more.”
“I’m sure you’ll love it.”
“It’s a chance to test,
“Whether you have grit.”
“How many reps,” you ask.
“Well that depends on you.”
“You keep on squatting until”
“there’s no more you can do.”
“Ok,” you say. “How many”
“Do you think I can do?”
Coach smiles and says:
“Let’s see at least 15 out of you.”
You cinch down your wrist wraps,
Lever your lift belt tight.
You glare at the bar.
You’re ready for this fight.
You rip off five reps,
Hit ten, then fifteen.
You’re feeling, focused, angry,
Strong, mean.
“Let’s see five more,”
Coach yells out.
“Let’s find out here and now
What you’re really about.”
You grind out twenty,
Thirty, then thirty five.
You are gasping, growling
Enraged, thrilled, alive.
Other coaches start walking over,
To see what you can do.
It’s not about the weight
It’s about what’s inside you.
“Have you got forty?”
“Let us see it.”
“This is no time
"To give up, quit.”
You are panting, surging, straining,
Doing all you can do.
It’s a death fight between
The bar and you.
You’re past the end of your endurance
There is nothing more you can do.
Then someone yells out:
“Have you got fifty in you?”
The bar weighs a ton,
You can’t possibly do more.
Then your mind turns your body to steel,
And you thrust up from the floor.
You hit fifty.
Stagger forward.
Lower the bar to the rack.
You were transformed for a moment.
But now you are back.
There are fist bumps, smiles
Coach gives you a high five
You are exhausted, exhilarated.
On these moments you thrive.
It isn’t just about strength
Or even about being tough.
It’s a contest to see if
Inside you have enough.
Can you will yourself to be more,
Than you ever dreamed you could be?
Can you achieve hard fought goals?
Erase your boundaries?
Mentor not foe
The bar’s a partner who
Helps you become
The best version of you.
Weightlifting and Poetry
It’s long been my
Strongly held contention.
You don’t have to live life
In just one dimension.
For reasons that
Are quite absurd
Some think you can’t
Mix weights and words.
Frankly,
I disagree
Weight lifting and poetry
Are alike to me.
Both challenge you
To transcend your bounds.
One with words
One with pounds.
Both force you to
Test what you can do.
See if you can become,
A better you.
Both emphasize form,
Precision, art.
Both require
Grit. Heart.
Both are a form
Of self-expression.
Both require focus and
Maybe a touch of obsession.
Instead of life easy
But unfulfilled,
Weight lifters and poets seek transformation,
Tests of will.
So, if someone tells you
You have to choose.
Weights and words don’t mix
In their view.
Tell them their world view
Is simply too small.
You want poetry and weightlifting.
You want it all.
For you are on a lifelong
Quest you see
To be the continuously
Best you, you can be.
The Beginning – Commitment to the Recovery Journey
You could see the top.
You were about to capture the day.
Then life sent a crushing injury setback,
And took it all away.
You know the climb
You’ve made it before.
Can you make it again?
Can you twice become more?
Can you find it inside,
To gut it out again?
Find the self-discipline?
Reach that higher plain?
Comeback is
A treacherous trail
Where you previously succeeded,
This time you might fail.
So here it is,
Another major life test.
You’ll give it your all.
You’ll give it your best.
If you make it,
It’ll be a hell of a ride
Success will depend
On what you have inside.
Recovery Week One
Completed recovery week
One in the gym.
Saw flashes of the old me.
I want to be him.
Even dialing back my weights
I’m ridiculously stiff.
But my form was spot on
Like a remembered jazz riff.
Felt great to be back,
To be striving again
Working toward goals
Joking with friends.
How long will it take?
We’ll just have to see.
But, I’m fanatically focused
On getting back to being me.
Recovery Week Two
Don’t want to sound brash
Rude or crude,
But today I reclaimed my
Weightlifter attitude.
I attacked each rep
Like my body was on fire,
What I lacked in muscle,
I tried to gut out through desire.
I rediscovered the joy
Of linking body, inner drive.
Of exploding into the bar.
How it makes you feel alive.
I rediscovered my determination.
But, I lack my former strength.
So, I’m committed to this recovery,
Whatever its length.
It’s only week two
But I can already see
Why I have to win this fight
And get back to being me.
Recovery Week Three
Recovery is a process
You love to hate
As you struggle to lift
A formerly easy weight.
You focus hard
Do all you can do.
But you have miles to go
Before you’re once again you.
It’s about determination.
Grit. Things fundamental
It’s not just muscle. I
t’s spiritual, mental.
You reach down inside.
Fight to reclaim your best.
Each hard-fought small win.
Is a personal test.
Every lift in this third
Recovery week.
Is another milepost
Toward the goal you seek.
You do everything
You know how to do.
On this quest to get back
To once again be you.
Recovery Week Four
Nothing good in life
Is easy or free.
That’s especially true
In recovery.
In week four
I begin to see
Small steps toward
Getting back to me.
Today I deadlifted
My body weight.
A puny goal
But, it felt great.
Five sets of two
Times 175.
Form was pretty good.
I felt excited, alive.
That used to be
Merely a warm-up weight.
But hitting it today
Was exciting, great.
No one can walk this path for you.
Your victories are small but true.
When this will be over you haven’t a clue.
But, it’s the only road back to being you.
Recovery Week Five
Recovery week five
Brings a glimmer of hope.
That the path ahead
Is a less steep slope.
Prior weeks physically
Brought only stiffness, pain.
But now you begin to see progress.
Your first real strength gain.
You put into each lift
All you have you have to give.
You’re not just moving iron.
You’re choosing how to live.
It’s body and mind
You against the bar.
You’re starting to regroup
But the end is still far.
For you know there is
Much, much more to do.
Before you get back
To once again being you.
Recovery Week Six
You’ve made gains
Since week one.
But, your comeback’s
Far. far from done.
You’re making progress.
You’re having fun.
But you’ve miles to go
Before this war’s won.
Lifting bars of steel
Awakens your inner drive.
You remember how it makes you feel.
You are reborn. You come alive.
Still, you’ve miles to go
And much to do.
Before you get fully back
To being you.
Recovery Week Seven
Commit a crime
You do the sentence.
Commit a sin,
You do the penance.
If I’m ever gonna
Get back to being me.
I’ve got to gut out
This recovery.
You can’t buy your way back
Even with big bucks
You just grind it out
Even though it sucks.
So, even though I’m sore
And butt draggin’ the floor,
I give everything I have
Then just a little more.
Recovery
Is continuing misery.
But I’m committed to this fight
Of getting back to being me.
Recovery Week Eight - Hard Things
Hard things aren’t
The things that break you.
Hard things are the things
That make you.
Life’s not what you say,
It’s what you do.
Set a low bar
Become a low bar you.
Reach high and even
If you don’t take home gold
You build a you
That’s strong, bold.
Face down hard things
And soon life has few
Things that can
Stop or even scare you.
Run to life’s challenges
Not away
And you become the one
Able to save the day.
You become the one
On which people can rely
The heroine, the hero
The clutch play kind of guy.
So next time you’re exhausted,
On the verge of wanting to quit.
Remember your actions
Are how your story will be writ.
Hard things aren’t your problem.
They’re your secret weapon to,
Become. a stronger, better,
More resilient you.
Recovery Week Nine
One day recovery
Will merely be
A quaint, painful
Memory
But, today again,
You face the bar
Test your progress
Gauge who you are.
Chrome and steel
Ominous black plates.
Your performance
Defines your fate.
For the only way back
To the you, you used to be.
Is running this gauntlet
Of recovery.
Falter and all
Your gain-backs are lost.
An unthinkable outcome
An unacceptable cost.
Recovery is a prison
Of dashed hopes, self-doubt. Y
ou must draw on what’s inside.
And simply fight your way out.
Recovery Week Ten - The Inner Game
Would you compete In the Olympics,
Even if you knew,
The rest of the field
Could outrun you?
Can you hang tough
Even at the back of the pack?
Keep striving to excel?
Cut yourself no slack?
If you only enter games
You know you can win.
You never test
The you within.
The hardest thing in life to do
s to keep running
When there’s no medal.
Only you judging you.
Facing tough times
Do you know what you’ll do?
Are you confident you have
What it takes to get through?
You do if you are willing to
Put yourself to the test.
Constantly try to achieve
Ever better personal bests.
You may not always medal
In someone else’s race,
But if you are hero/heroine of your own story,
There’s nothing you can’t face.
Recovery Week Eleven
The recovery I hoped would take weeks
Is looking like it will take months.
Until then, am I the diminished me I am now?
Or the stronger me I was once?
Some say you are always you.
I say we are what we do.
I say this weaker me is a temporary state.
A transition back, not my long-term fate.
Time will be the final witness
Of what turns out to be true.
Will I succeed at getting back?
Or fail at what I’m trying to do?
There are always outside forces
Trying to decide who you are.
Seeing if you’ll settle for less
Instead of striving to reach far.
You can accept your fate or make it.
Fight to become what you want to be.
I don’t accept this setback version.
I will get back to the stronger me.
When this story is over
We’ll all be able to look back and see.
Did I make it or did I fail
At determining which me I will be?
Recovery Week Twelve
I’d love to say
It’s fun. A ball.
But the truth is recovery’s
A frustrating long haul.
You only know how
Long it’s been.
Not when this process
Will finally end.
You look for signs
Rays of hope.
Keep on finding
New ways to cope.
It would be over now
If it were up to you.
But your only way out,
Is to keep slogging through.
So, you grasp the bar
Thrust up with all your might.
You’ are determined
You will win this fight.
You lock out the lift
Better, but not enough.
This process is a test.
Do you have the right stuff?
You know what you were,
What you hope to be again.
All you can do
Is tough it out until the end.
Recovery Week Thirteen
Welcome to the world of recovery.
Every gym day’s a chance to see,
You’re physically not
The man you used to be.
For three months
Injury recovery
Tried hard to get
The better of me.
The road back
Was painful, tedious, slow.
I just kept grinding on.
There was no other way to go.
You fight to get back,
To your personal best.
To match your previous lifts,
It’s a tough, challenging test.
Today was a big step
Toward breaking free
From this endless
Fog of recovery.
I beat my prior best
Deadlift today.
Didn’t baby step over it.
I blew it away.
Today’s final deadlift just
Flew up from the floor.
It was ten pounds over
My best ever before.
One less black mark.
Less focus on what I used to be.
My deadlift is recovered.
One less dark cloud over me.
I’m still working on
My bench press and squat.
What I used to lift there I still cannot.
But beating my old deadlift,
Gives me hope.
That this process has an end.
That I’m on the downhill slope.
That someday soon I’ll be able to say
I’ve made it through recovery All the way.
Until then
I’m not quite totally free.
Each day is another milestone
To getting back to being me.
Recovery Week Fourteen - Finish Line
First quarter this year
Injury took me out of the gym.
My chances for recovery
Grew increasingly dim.
Cleared medically eight weeks later,
I made my return.
Knowing regaining what I’d lost,
Was something I’d have to re-earn.
Recovery Is a dark cloud
It’s not easy, not your friend.
It’s an endless painful climb
an unpredictable end.
For fourteen weeks
I fought each day to get back.
To regain my strength.
Get my life again on track.
I never knew
How long It would take.
I simply fought each day for
What little progress I could make.
I kept envisioning
The finish line.
Not knowing, if it would ever come,
If I could make that success mine.
Could I ever again match my prior high
Bench, deadlift and squat?
Testing myself was the only way to know
If I could or could not.
Our team ended a
Training cycle this week.
It was the best way to test
If my chances were good or bleak.
The good news is
I did just fine
I blew right past
My target finish line.
I set new personal records
In bench, squat, and deadlift.
After fourteen weeks of recovery hell.
It was a tremendous gift.
This was one of the hardest
Things in my life to do. I
It wasn’t just a strength test,
It was a character test too.
Can you do hard things?
How do you know?
When was the last time you tested yourself
To be sure that it’s so?
Hard things don’t break us.
Hard things are what make us.
They push our limits out far
They expand who we are.
So next time you are challenged,
Persevere, don’t give in.
A better stronger you
Is worth fighting to win.
Recovery – Aftermath
Passing by a window
Finally, reflected I see
Someone who looks like
The me I used to be.
I’m back down to
My target training weight
I’m again loading my lifts
With plate after plate.
My totals are now past
Where they were last December
Instead of a daily goal,
Recovery is simply something I remember.
It was a long hard road
To get back to this place.
Falling back is something
I never again want to face.
I look forward now
To reaching new heights
Setting new goals
Winning new fights.
The ultimate expression
Of what it means to be free
Is self-defining who you are,
Being the me you want to be.
Heavy Bag Workout
“Siri, start timer.
Start my next round.”
The bell rings, you explode
Thrilled, unleashed at the sound.
Jab, jab, hook.
Jab, jab, hook.
Each round is story
You write like a book.
Circle, attack.
Circle attack.
Until the round is over
There’s no going back.
Left jab, double jab,
Left hook, left cross.
You punch with all you have
Show the bag who is boss.
Torquing your body,
Punching with all your weight.
The bag is a dance partner
You love to hate.
You punish the bag
With your best combo.
You’re mortal combat partners.
Dancing a rage-filled mambo.
It’s rhythm, cadence,
Repetition, tempo.
You and the bag become one
Perfectly linked, simpatico.
Your shoulders scream with pain
You whole body starts to tire.
But you keep fighting on
With determination, inner fire.
For the actual purpose
Of this bout.
Is a test of what’s inside
Not what’s out.
It’s not you against the bag.
It’s really you against you.
How far can you push yourself?
How much more can you do?
Instead of a hated foe,
The bag’s a partner who,
Helps you forge,
A better, stronger you.
You know what you were
How much more can you be?
When Siri starts her timer,
It’s your chance to see.
The finish timer rings
Exhausted you end the round.
But you treasure your time with the bag
And the new inner strength you’ve found.
Fighting the Next Round
In the spring of 2020, one of my friends asked if I had defriended her, because, for months, she hadn’t seen any poems from me posted on FACEBOOK. She hadn’t seen any, because during the first half of 2020, I didn’t have time to write any.
Starting in January 2020, our life became a ride through a Class 5 white water rapids. Diane and I were not only coping with COVID, we also moved to a new home in one of the new Villages communities that had just opened south of Sumter County Road 44. I aggravated an old injury during the move and had to go through physical rehabilitation. It didn’t work.
I’ve had three back surgeries and several serious back related episodes along the way. Overs the years, doctors strongly questioned my decision to lift heavy weights. This time they were adamant that I really should give it up. Reluctantly, I decided this time to listen. Now my challenge was to find an alternative way to try to stay strong and healthy.
The gyms were all closed because of COVID. But, I was able to finally find and buy a set of Powerblock adjustable dumb bells and a folding bench. I began working out at home in what became my new go forward workout routine – fifteen to eighteen miles per week of walking and three days per week of moderate upper body weightlifting. This is a far cry from the Powerlifting routines of my yesteryears. I cherish those experiences, but they are now my past not my future.
As hard as handling all of these major changes at once was, change is what life is really about. Every cell in your body renews over a three-year cycle. Even if you don’t want to change, life is changing and evolving all around you. Your place, your options, your best path forward is always shifting whether you like it or not. So, willing or unwilling, our fate is to continually redefine who we are in this ever-changing environment.
The bell is ringing, the referee is signaling to you. Time to cinch tight your boxing gloves, get back into the ring, and thank God that you are still able to fight another round. The poem below is my attempt to put this experience into words.
Fighting the Next Round
It seems as if our growing up
Is never really done.
There’s always new tests to face
New races to run.
In January I thought:
“At last, my life has quieted down.”
Things were settled, easy.
Peace and harmony all around.
I was sure I had
Finally found my groove.
Then, suddenly Diane and I decided.
“Hey, let’s move.”
Four arduous months later,
We’d transplanted ourselves, our stuff.
The new home was worth it,
But moving is rough.
Some say hoisting heavy stuff
At my age is dumb.
Could be they’re right
My arm and hand went numb.
Called the Doctor, asked:
“Hey, what the heck?”
“Not good,” he said.
“You’ve pinched a nerve in your neck.”
COVID had kept me from powerlifting
And my gym.
Now, “You can’t powerlift anymore.”
Was the stern message from him.
“You can lift, but
No more ultra-heavy weight.”
It was a dagger to my heart.
But, I accepted my fate.
Your old house gone,
Sport you loved gone too.
Time to reach inside,
Reinvent yourself anew.
So now I’m meeting my new neighbors
And keeping my old friends too.
I’ve retooled my workouts,
Defined new strength goals to pursue.
In January, I thought
I had everything under control.
Life was predictable, easy.
A leisurely stroll.
In June, I can hardly
Recognize my life.
About the only thing that hasn’t changed
Is Diane, my partner, girlfriend, wife.
So, no matter what our age
We can’t be sure what fate will bring.
We can only cinch tight our gloves,
And climb back into life’s boxing ring.
When our daughter Erin was growing up, we had a family saying we used to help her face big challenges: "The only way out is through." Truthfully, I used this mantra myself many times when I was facing monumental crises and challenges in my highly demanding work life.
On the sixth day of our great journey, June 6, 2021, we were driving from New Orleans to Houston. Houston was just a one-night stop over. Our real destination was Dallas which we planned to reach the next day and then visit for a few days. It was supposed to be an easy day. Instead, we hit one of the worst storms I have ever driven through.
At the height of the storm, both my phone and Diane's started blaring and our screens were taken over by a National Weather Service tornado warning. The storm was so vicious and unrelenting we were not sure if we would be in greater risk stopping or plunging on ahead. Diane found our location on weather radar. We decided that no option was perfect, but we would be better off driving into the teeth of the storm and trying to get out of the tornado zone. We executed our plan and got through. It was harrowing, but we made it.
That evening when I reflected on the experience of the storm, it reminded me of all the many times in my life I faced challenges much bigger than anything I had previously handled before. You can decide to pull over during a storm, but you can't "pull over" on being a Dad, a husband, or leader and defender of the people who work for you. You can't give into disease. You can't give up on yourself. If you do, your life or the life of someone who depends on you is likely to end up in the ditch like the many cars we saw who spun off the road during the storm.
Somehow, some way, you need to find it within you to rise to the challenge and make it succumb to you. When you do, you become stronger and more able to handle not only that challenge, but all the next ones waiting for you down the road. These are the thoughts I tried to capture in this poem. I hope you enjoy it.
New Orleans to Houston
An easy three hundred miles
All highway driving
Low stress, all smiles.
But on this fateful
Ill-omened day,
It turned out
A very different way.
It started easy,
A walk in the park.
Then the sky turned
Foreboding, menacing, dark.
In an instant we were in it.
It was like diving under water.
No speed was safe,
Gusts drilled us like an auger.
The storm raged, buffeted
My wife and I could barely see.
Anywhere but on this road
Was where we wanted to be.
Was that road or shoulder ahead?
You couldn’t tell which.
Cars spun out,
Ended up in the ditch.
Water sheets slammed, tossed us
There was nothing we could do.
It’s the kind of event that
Tests the limits of you.
It was dark as night
Even though it was still morning.
Then our phones started blaring
!!TORNADO WARNING!!”
There was nowhere to stop,
Nothing else to do,
Like so many times in life,
Our only way out was - through.
How many times
Has it all rested on your shoulders?
You needed to lead, perform,
But had no clue how to lift life’s boulders.
Maybe it was
An impossible school test.
Or a work challenge that required
More than your past best.
You had to face it
Had to beat it too.
Even though you really didn’t
Know how you were going to.
At those moments,
You know what you must do.
Harden your mind, spirit, body.
Will the challenge to succumb to you.
Thirty-three minutes of this
Terrible white-knuckle drive
Ended with the sun coming out
And us glad to be alive.
It wasn’t an experience
I’d volunteer to do again.
I wouldn’t wish it on an enemy.
And certainly not on a friend.
But life has these surprises
The best thing you can do
Is face and master them,
Instead of them mastering you.
Every challenge you face
Makes you a stronger, better you.
Builds up your ability to prevail
Next time your only way out is through.
Baseball players have a signature song that is played as they walk to the plate. It is supposed to remind them of who they are and inspire them as they take on the challenge of facing off against the pitcher.
When I am no longer around and my grandkids or great-grandkids wonder who I was and what my life was about, I hope they read this poem. It expresses everything I have learned and believe about life. When I am facing daunting odds, hard tests, I think about these words and the truths they represent. I hope they speak to you the way they do to me.
What are you capable of?
How far can you go?
If you’re not testing yourself,
How do you know?
Becoming the You,
You want to be,
Takes perpetual effort.
Nothing is free.
Finish lines
Are the easy part.
Getting there requires
Sweat, grit, heart.
When your mind says: “No,”
Switch it to: “Go.
When you want to give in,
Force yourself to begin.
Make your life
An unending quest
To keep achieving
New personal bests.
If you want to become
The best version of you,
Forget hopes and wishes,
You are what you do.
I grew up in Western New York State in a small town called Silver Creek, N.Y. about 30 miles south of Buffalo, N.Y. I still have family and friends in the area. My cousin Pat Wolfe and I grew up together and remain close today. Pat called me shortly after Easter in 2021 and told me this story. It touched my heart. I hope it touches yours too.
My cousin Pat and his wife Wendy were still under COVID lockdowns in New York State during Easter 2021. Even though he has several children and grandkids living within driving distance, Pat and his wife were forced to skip any kind of family event at Easter. Pat was very upset about the situation and expected it would be a lonely and awful experience. Instead, he told me, it turned out to be one of his best Easters ever.
When you read the story about people tearfully committing to share forward to others the kindness Pat shared with them that night, I want you to have a good mental picture of my cousin. Pat is a 200 lb + heavily muscled, shooter, deep depth technical diver, and ex mixed martial arts guy. If Pat and another guy are in a room together and someone is crying, bet money that it isn't Pat.
Pat did something this past Easter that gave hope to room full of people who felt alone and hopeless. He said he was so touched by people's reaction to what he did, that he was bawling right along with everyone else. One by one people stood up and told how this moment had affected their lives and how they were going to reach out on a personal level to others the way Pat had reached out to them. It had to have been an unbelievable experience. When he called me to tell me this story, Pat said it has changed his life.
Remember this story next time you hear some crappy news analyst or TV program saying America is a jaded place where everyone is just out for themselves. Out in the world of the real America, each of us has our own opportunity to turn “darkness to light.”
Easter 2021
COVID dark
Isolated
No fun.
No family round the table
This year.
Only masks, mandates
Fear.
Dinner time, but
No family Easter feast.
The walls are closing in.
Let’s go out at least.
It’s a dreary drive
To a lonely bar.
Few people are out.
At least it’s not far.
The bar is dark, empty.
Still, you go inside
Instead of Resurrection
It feels like someone has died
Solitary spaced out diners
Stare at half eaten plates.
The loneliness on their faces
Reflects the sorrow of their fates.
You order, start to eat.
But a chill runs through you.
The stench of isolation,
Is enveloping you too.
Is this what you’ve worked for
So hard all your life?
A crappy bar Easter dinner with strangers?
Despair cuts you like a knife.
But there is still an ember,
A lesson of hope inside you.
Jesus’ love defeated death.
Maybe love can save you too.
You count the other solitary diners.
The number is five.
God has blessed you.
Your wallet will survive.
“Bartender, it’s Easter,”
You hear yourself say.
“I want everyone to feel loved,
So, all tab’s are on me today.”
The other patrons look up
They can’t believe their ears.
Maybe someone does care they’re alive.
There are thank you’s, tears.
Soon their individual
Stories are told.
Full of grief, sorrows.
Hopeless tomorrows.
But, all pledge that now
They too
Will pay this kindness forward
Just like you.
'On the ride home
You turn to your wife and say:
“When we got there, I thought
“This was my worst ever Easter Day.”
“But, instead I think it’ll
Stand out from the rest.
Instead of the worst
It’ll be one of the best.”
“Easter isn’t really
About bunnies and candy
Parades on TV
Or dressing dandy.”
“It’s about what unites us
Instead of divides.
It’s about love and hope
It’s about what’s inside. “
“We may never see those people again.
But when they retell this Easter’s story,
It will live forever
As a moment of glory. “
You spend the rest of the drive
Reflecting on your beautiful home, family, wife.
You thank God for what happened today,
And all the good things in your life.
As you pull into your drive
You’re certain one thing is true.
Turning darkness to light
Is something each of us, can, must do.
In the summer of 2021. Diane and I took a three month,10,000 mile RV trip around the US. It was for us the trip of a lifetime. I wrote this poem on our very last evening on the road. We were sitting just outside of Savannah GA in a very nice RV park on Lake Jasper.
Both Diane and I were filled with excitement knowing that the next day , when our day's driving ended, we would not be hooking up and settling into our next RV park. We would be back in our beloved hometown, The Villages, FL and parking our coach, Amelia, in our own driveway. We were thrilled about finally coming home, but a little sad too. For nearly 90 days, we had been traveling and exploring, testing ourselves against new challenges, experiencing new and wonderful things. It had been a wonderful ride.
I had planned to listen to an NFL pre-season game on the radio this last afternoon of our trip. However, the game seemed pedestrian and boring in comparison to all the thoughts and feelings I was having about that moment - the end of the biggest and most important trip of Diane's and my lifetime.
So, I turned off the radio and, as I have so many other times in my life, I started writing. The poem that resulted appears below. I feel privileged to have been able to take this trip and lucky to have Diane as my partner in life and on this trip. Both of us feel indelibly changed by this experience. That's what I tried to capture in the words of this poem.
Packed up our RV,
Then me and my wife.
Set out on the greatest
Trip of our life.
RV’d 90 days, 10,000 miles.
Obstacles? Challenges? Yes.
But also adventures,
Thrills, smiles.
Deltas, deserts,
Buttes and plains,
Mountains, hoodoos,
All too beautiful to explain.
Black Hills, Badlands, Bison,
Salt Lake, Sturgis, Mount Rushmore,
Road to the Sun, all touched us,
To our very core.
Left, right, up, down
Rocky mountains to navigate.
Forced us past our limits,
Made us feel alive, in control of our fate.
Riding speed boats, Sea Doo's
On Lake Winnipesaukee,
Main Seacoast, lobster rolls,
Unending things to do, taste, see.
This whole trip was something
We’d never done, thought we could do.
It pushes you to new levels.
Creates a better, stronger you.
Our friend and family visits
Were awe inspiring too,
Our bonds with them
Got stronger, deeper, grew.
Tomorrow is it.
The day, our journey ends.
Once again we’ll see
Our home, neighbors, friends.
We’ll unpack, get back into,
Our old routines.
But, we’ll never forget
The West, its awe-inspiring scenes.
We’ll never view our daily life
Quite the same.
This trip of a lifetime
Has completely changed the game.
America’s West is gorgeous,
Wide open, timeless, tall.
It makes human politics and problems
Seem insignificant, small.
Will we ever do it again?
Go long distance, really explore?
The answer now’s written on our hearts.
Taste freedom once, you’ll want more.
Diane and I live in The Villages, Florida. Over 136,000 people, primarily seniors, live here. It is one of the most unique communities in the world. People here are active, vital, and see their senior years as a time of growth and possibility not despair and decline. The children of Villagers sometimes have a different expectation of what old age is supposed to be like than we do. This mismatch can have some hilarious consequences. It is very common to hear stories about how our children don't approve of the life we live and wish we would just "act our age!"
I’m totally frustrated.
Don’t know what to do.
I keep preaching and preaching,
But can’t seem to get through.
I urge them to be safe
Avoid unnecessary risks, dangers.
Instead, they’re out riding fast electric bikes
Dancing in town squares among strangers.
I suggest modest little walks.
Taking care not to fall.
Instead, they spend their time on
Water aerobics and pickleball.
And, the way they act in public.
It’s enough to make you blush!
They hold hands, even kiss.
Like teenagers with a crush.
They don’t seem to understand
This is when they should be slowing down.
Instead, their schedule is packed full.
They are always running around.
Sometimes, I wonder
Why I even bother.
I just can’t seem to talk sense
To my mother and father!
In 2019 Diane and cruised to the Panama Canal. This was our longest cruise ever and a wonderful trip. The Carribean is a treasure, a real break from everyday life back in the U.S. These poems reflect our sense of wonder at what we were seeing and doing in these exotic locales. But, they also reflect our great sense of gratitude that we are Americans, citizens of a country where a factory worker's son and a minister's daughter through hard work and determination can rise to being able to take a trip like this. We hope you enjoy these poems.
JAMAICA ME CRAZY
It’s an ethnic slur
That says Jamaicans are lazy
With work ethics that
Are at best, spotty, hazy.
But what would you say,
What would you do
If Jamaicans knew more
About quality of life than you?
Western world workers
Are reachable 24x7.
Sounds to me more like slavery
Than a Utopian heaven.
The woman in the T-Shirt shop
Will never own a fancy car.
But she’s home at six each night.
To her family, she’s a star.
Three generations of her family
Sit down each night for dinner.
Her family knows her, respects her,
Considers her a winner.
On Sunday her whole family
Walks to their church.
In good times and bad
No one is left out, or in the lurch.
You have an iPhone and a 401k.
But when you dine with your kids, no one has anything to say.
People spend a few minutes trying to make nice.
But quickly everyone dives separately into their device.
They text talk to people
Who aren’t even there.
They ignore those in front of them,
Even though they say they care.
Things are how you measure wealth.
But that T-shirt woman’s treasure
Is family, friends,
God, good health.
So, reconsider what you value.
Reassess what you do.
That “lazy” T-shirt woman,
Might just be richer and happier than you.
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